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I leave for Whitby in about seven hours. I should really be sleeping right now. I'll be away for over a week so here's a few jokes to tide you over while I'm gone.



Q : What's black and white and red all over?

A : A nun getting eaten by a zombie



Q : How do you put a zombie baby to sleep?

A : Decapitate it, set it on fire, and scatter the ashes.



Q : What's red and gray and splashes?

A : A zombie baby playing in a puddle of brains.



Q : What's more disturbing than nailing a zombie to a post?

A : Watching it pull itself off and then try and eat you.

Why is it that people still welcome me here when I've been here for years?

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TheLivingDeadGirl
05:17 Apr 22 2008

I still get it as well and a lot of people it's part of their rating stamp they have it to say "Welcome to the rave please feel free to return the favor, add me, stalk me, or bite me" lol and most who don't have stamps don't really read a persons profile and go straight to rate/comment lol

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A good thing that happened yesterday was the arrival of my new bag:







So pretty.



There's a pair of shoes I've been looking at for a while and they would go so well with that bag. And they sell them at Whitby:

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TheLivingDeadGirl
05:18 Apr 22 2008

Those are cool I like the shoes :)

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Another nightmare has woken me. I can't win. Nightmares plague me when I sleep and dark thoughs torment me during my waking hours. The voices are almost always there. Sometimes, more and more often these days, whispering dark promises, telling me I'd find peace in death. And I believe them. But I've made my own promises now.



I've promised five people that I will try to live. Five, that's it. They talk about circles of friends but friends don't seem to stick around for me. The exception are those that 'saved' me on April 3rd. Part of me thanks you and the other part asks you why. I won't name you. You know who you are.



I'm sure I'll get comments and messages from people saying they're my friends, and maybe they are, but I'm not going to give out my trust so easily. I had my own kindness thrown back in my face earlier. Like sand, it stung my eyes but I could see clearly afterward. They don't deserve what I offered them.



I woke up a while ago, a nightmare having slashed it's way into my somewhat peaceful sleep, to find a knife in my bed. Hopefully, as suggested, I didn't move it when I moved the others somewhere they were awkward to reach. I really hope that's the case. Either that or even my subconscious wants me dead.



One dream from last night wasn't a nightmare when it probably should have been. I was dead and lying in a coffin. It was my funeral and people had come to see me off. And sir, I must say, you had a very nice top hat. Yes, my funeral and I concern myself with what people are wearing. Typical of me I suppose. Hmmm, could I get away with an enforced dress code at my own funeral? I suppose at least everyone would probably already be wearing black.



It's been ten months since I gave into the temptation of the blade last but after the events of yesterday and the knife being there when I awoke, it was too strong. It was almost as though I dreamed it into existence.



It was only one cut, a shallow one that didn't bleed much, but that release was a second of freedom. If you don't understand the reasons behind the need, I doubt you'll understand that fraction of bliss. I put the blade down with great reluctance but I must try to cope in a way that doesn't give me visible scars.



I've lost my train of thought again. I'm not sure I ever knew where this was going in the first place though. You may wonder why I'm posting this and I'm not sure I can really explain my reasons. I guess part of it is that I've trying to connect with people to find things to live for. I'm not sure how I seem on the outside.



Some people say they can see it in my eyes that I'm damaged. Others think I'm such a happy person. The latter is a lie but I suspect the pain probably does show up in my eyes. But can anyone see how close I am to the edge? Does it show on my face when I'm thinking dark thoughts? I've always been there, or tried to be, for others but I have difficulty asking for assisstance for myself. So I guess that just leaves me to ask one thing.



Help me?

They just said that on TV. It made me giggle.

Well that's episode two of the current series of Doctor Who over. I wonder if they had the same Latin texts in school as I did. Caecillius anyone?



There were a few points in it that had me wondering about the future. The Doctor said about being the only Timelord left but, based on what I've heard, that's not strictly true. Supposedly his daughter, a Timelord, will turn up later in the series. Created from DNA stolen from him, apparently.



Other parts had me wondering if his father will appear at some point. It could be innocent scripted comments but maybe not. I'm not saying it will happen in this series, or maybe even ever, but time will tell.



So what made me think? Well when the son of the main family featured asks the Doctor not to tell his father about them sneaking into the soothsayer's home, the Doctor makes it conditional on his own father not being told. Throw away comment? Perhaps.



Then there's the comment about him being the last Timelord. He claimed that before and then the Master reappeared. And don't forget the times when the Daleks have shown up when they're all supposed to be gone. Maybe there are other Timelords out there someone. Perhaps trapped in time and space. Perhaps thinking they are human while carrying fob watches around with them. Perhaps he is the only true Timelord left.



Moving on, the Doctor talks about Gallifrey burning and not being able to go back when Donna wants to save the family from the death Vesuvius ensures. She begs him to save one person, just one, and he sends the TARDIS back. He saves the family that would have otherwise died. So, one day, will he return to Gallifrey and save someone, perhaps his father?



There's also the prominent idea of people fortelling the future in this episode. The writer could be giving his own future predictions.



This could just be me rambling and reading too much into the scripted words. Laugh if you want, but we shall see...

The world is unfair and depressing. People are dying when they deserve to live and we're surrounded by bastards I'd rather were dead. I just typed father in there by accident. lol



Also, someone stole my soup. Pretty Boy, your ass is mine. Oh god, bad mental images. I need to go and wash my mind out with soap bleach.

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Minx
17:22 Apr 10 2008

By your first line, I couldn't agree with you more.. Even with the "father" feel!!

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As of last night, I am officially engaged. I am very happy and very much in love. I am going to get married and have a house with a white picket fence. Though that might be because of the Canadian snow. And we will have a dog and 2.4 children. Well a crazy rescue dog and as for having children, I am so not giving birth. I'll get the children from the morgue. That way they won't cry or be annoying. And the 0.4 child won't complain when I cut it up to take two fifths of it home.



Okay, so if anyone asks, I'm engaged, right? Right?

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undadawgg
17:43 Apr 11 2008

congrats.

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I'm officially phoneless. Yes I do mean phoneless. I've already been homeless once in the past month.



My battery is dead and I can't charge it because I left my charger in Northern Ireland. I was supposed to have a temporary contact number until it arrives but that hasn't been sorted yet either. Fucking postal service. I've got a zombie phone. It just hasn't risen from the dead yet.



Baptist, I've got zombies on the brain. Well not on my brain, you understand, because they would be eating it then and I don't think I could type while something was eating me. (Here's your chance to make a joke... *eyeroll*) I'd much rather be bitten by a sharp than by a zombie. Do you think we should actually start preparing for a zombie attack? I mean, it has to happen sooner or later right? We should get ourselves ready. Who's with me?



If you're wondering about the zombie obsession today, they were in my nightmares last night. Along with many other things. A group of people wanted to kill me and I didn't know who I could trust. And two men and one woman tried to rape me. The old pervert wasn't one of them for a change. There were clowns helping me and others trying to kill me. I have never had a problem with clowns but these ones scared me. And I've got bruises on my skin where the zombies bit me. It was one of those dreams that was terrifying even though it was potentially have been laughable as a movie.



Films don't scare me. I love horror. Gore is great. I wonder, though, if watching all the zombie films recently has warped my brain to a new kind of nightmare. Don't suppose I'm allowed to blame the nightmares on you, Master Mocata?



They just mentioned New York on Ready Steady Cook. Guess what song I now have stuck in my head.

I'm tired, my head hurts, I have lectures in about five and a half hours and I can't sleep. Someone, please, shoot me.



On a brighter note (laaaaa), the Whitby tickets were apparently posted out so I should have them soon. Two weeks! Hurrah!

I've just finished putting new pictures in my portfolio :) Me as a nurse. Take a look. They're the ones I took in the past few hours.

I did my own mini photoshoot a few hours ago. It was interesting. Some of the pictures didn't come out that well but there are others that I'm pleased with. I suppose I can't complain too much. I was using a basic three mega pixel digital camera with a ten second time delay. And I was balancing it on the edge of my bin.